My Beautiful Promise
by Clockwork Night
Summary: Kirk never thought of being a father, he was scared, especally when Spock's life hung on the balance, he couldn't choose...Spock..or his unborn son. *Mpreg* *Yaoi* *boyxboy* *K/S* Spirk* Kirk/Spock love


**Ah..I love mpreg...**

**But this is my first Star Trek fic, please no flames..I know I may screw up, forgive..**

**Thank you..**

**I do not own Star Trek in anyway, I wish I did...**

**Enjoy**

**Dev**

Kirk never thought about the possibility of being a father, he wanted to live up to his father's legacy, he wanted to captain the Enterprise, first and foremost. He desired nothing more than to prove the StarFleet Academy wrong, prove that he too, was a great man.

Yet as he held the hand of his sleeping lover, he felt weak, powerless over the deep pain he knew the Vulcan was in, but his pride would not allow Jim to see...

He ran his hand over the large bulge in the man's belly, wondering, hoping that the life form inside was fine, their bond was tight enough that if one left...the other wouldn't know what to do, but McCoy had to break the news to him somehow...

He told Jim while Spock slept after a rather long medical check up, on Spock and the baby inside, Jim's mind still was trying to put the pieces together...

"_Male pregnancies... even in Vulcan are rare..." McCoy said, removing the germs off his hands from checking Spock over, "At best, I can only ensure the survival of one."_

_Jim stared at his friend, he couldn't comprehend, couldn't put the words together, it was as if McCoy was asking him to chose... his unborn son, or the love of his life._

"_I-I..I see.." He whispered, holding Spock's hand in his own, "And there is nothing you can do? Can't we..talk to the Vulcans? Can't we find something.."_

_The doctor shrugged, "You can try speaking to Spock's father... but...I..I just don't know Jim..."_

He wasn't willing to chose, upon finding out of his lover's fertility, he felt as if he was being tied down, forced into an unwanted, deeper relationship, when truly he was just far to scared to admit to himself how much in love he was, and he knew those first few weeks he had hurt Spock, acting as if the first officer was nothing more than a coworker upon the Enterprise, when they slept by one another each night, (Against StarFleet regulations, but James T. Kirk was never one to play by the rules))

During the prenatal periods, when it was just Spock and himself, Jim couldn't help but imagine... playing outside in a wide, open field with his half-vulcan son, he wanted the child to take Spock's physique, the Vulcan man was a beauty, and no crew member could deny such truth. The way his chocolate eyes shined, though his face usually held no emotion, but those eyes...those where his mother's. Jim knew Amanda Grayson would have wanted to see her beloved grandson, it pained him to think that this was something Spock and his mother would never share, the beauty of pregnancy.

He held tight to his sleeping lover, he couldn't sleep though, his mind straining thoughts left and right,

How could he chose?

He knew Spock's birthing date was coming close, he could hear the soft groans of pain when the infant kicked him, almost making him laugh if he wasn't scared of getting the infamous Vulcan neck grip... the baby was a mini Kirk, he knew it.

That's what worried him, the fact that they where both men meant nothing to the offspring's gender, that's what scared him, he didn't think he was ready to go from the playboy, hot captain to a father shooing men away from his little girl for the next 30 years.

He kissed his husband's neck, sitting up, he wouldn't be able to sleep, McCoy said the birth would be painful, for not only Spock, but his unborn son, such knowledge weighed heavily on his mind, Jim couldn't loose Spock, he couldn't loose his baby...

He went to the bridge, pulling his shirt over his head, his hair messy from tossing and turning in bed while his lover slept perfectly fine.

Jim knew the time on Vulcan was different, and because of the pregnancy, the Star Ship was ported on the planet, they needed to restock, and no missions from StarFleet meant they could just...relax, if only for a moment. He wanted to speak to Sarek, his beloved father, he knew the man had limited experience with male birth, yet he had far more than Kirk ever did, for before Spock, he didn't know such a thing was humanly possible.

He opened the communication from the Enterprise to the New Vulcan planet, hoping, praying that the Vulcan would be up, willing to speak to Jim Kirk, he knew that he wasn't Sarek's choice for a bondmate, not for Spock, Spock..he deserved more than Jim, and Sarek made sure he never forgot how much better his half-human son could have done.

"_Captain Kirk..."_

The words made him look up, but there was no one there but himself, the Vulcan had rejected his communications, none to shocked, he just... he was worried about his BondMate, his beloved T'hy'la... he feared that the upcoming birth of his son would be the last...

"_Jim!"_

He snapped up, looking at the small intercom above his head, was that McCoy? He pressed the button, allowing himself to speak,

"Captain here.."

McCoy was panting softly, it had taken not only him, but three other crew members to get the pregnant man into the sick bay, the half Vulcan groaned, holding tight to his large bulge holding the convulsing child within, his human side coming out as he didn't realize how utterly painful.

The few days he spent back on his planet, with his father and half-brother where degrading, though his father usually felt distaste for the human side, it reminded him of Amanda... seeing his beloved son in the pregnancy robes his deceased wife did before giving birth to Spock, his son...

"S-Spock is going into labor... there are some complications!"

Jim's heart felt as if it was breaking, c-complications... he knew what that meant, but..he couldn't process it,

He ran for the ships' sick bay, trying to figure which room his mate was in, he heard the pain filled screams, looking up,

"_Is there nothing we can do?" Jim asked the doctor, holding his sleeping lover's hand, "I..I can't loose ether of them...I can't do this alone Bones."_

_McCoy sighed, washing his hands, he needed a drink, though he wasn't Spock, or Jim, only the doctor taking care of the pregnant Vulcan, he would feel the pain wafting off of his friend, he knew the pains of being a parent, the love it took, his beautiful little girl, Joanna... he hadn't seen her in so long, he knew what Jim was thinking... _

_Jim was a strong man, but loosing one's child, or loosing his husband... that was an impossible choice..._

_The doctor growled, no, he wouldn't let Jim go through that, and if their child was the one who died... he wouldn't let Spock do that, he knew the Vulcan wouldn't be able to handle it.._

"_I..I can speak to the Vulcan council.." He said after a long moment, "There have been multiple events where the birth of a child was via man, not woman, they'll know what to do."_

_He wouldn't let them go through that.._

McCoy bustled through the sick bay, watching Spock's monitors go crazy, he bit his lip, he had requested a Vulcan medical assistant, but received no answer to his pleas, he hoped the pain killers would settle in, hoped they would work on Vulcans.

The green liquid from Spock's lower half stained the white sheets, he man hissed in pain, Jim gripped tight to his hand, his chocolate eyes large, staring wide at the ceiling above. Being as it was a male childbirth, it would not be done naturally.

Time seemed to stop for Jim, Spock's breathing was uneven, raspy, the blonde had tears in his eyes, "S-Spock..baby.." He whispered, pushing away the ebony hair from the Vulcan's sweaty forehead, he heard the words coming from McCoy and the other doctors, there was no time to waste...

Morphine... why where they putting his lover on morphine? Why did they look so worried? Why did everything seem..lost?

"Dammit Jim!" Bones hissed, pulling the teary eyed man away from the Vulcan, tossing him a pair of gloves, "Hurry up!"

He saw the blood first, the dark, green blood, splattered across the man's cut open stomach, he gasped softly in utter horror.. "You're ripping him apart!" He yelled, adding to the chaos. The noise stopped when the scream came from Spock

"Get that man some air... something!" the young nurse called, finding the tools to take the infant out.

That was when Jim looked up nervously, when Spock went utterly..quiet...

_No..._

He didn't even notice his first son coming out, the bloody creature in McCoy's arms, Jim scrambled to Spock's side, taking his hand in his own. "Spock..Spock!" He cried, the man limp on the bed, eyes closed.

"Spock..baby.."He whispered, kissing the man lightly on his still lips, "Wake up..please..you can't leave me..."

McCoy was torn, whether to feel horrid for his captain, or to smile, he cleaned off the little newborn, though it was an early birth, he wasn't expecting Spock to go into labor until the week after. He reached for the blanket, he had Hikaru there, just for McCoy's simple need for support, he never had delivered a male's baby, Hikaru passed him the dark blue blanket, his eyes taken from Spock and Jim to the newborn baby boy.

"J-Jim.." The doctor smiled, looking up, "You have a son..."

Jim had difficulty looking away from his husband, knowing Bones would do all he could..but he feared it was too late...

As Hikaru, with his limited medical knowledge, hook the Vulcan up to the oxygen, he wouldn't give up, he made a promise, as did McCoy, as did all the staff, Spock was their friend...

James T. Kirk took his son in his arms for the first time, seeing the newly clean baby squirm in his arms, he let out a gasp, overtaken by the beauty, the small, pointed ears stuck out from the soft mob of ebony hair, he had gotten his wish, the beauty looked like Spock, he smiled, looking over his shoulder to the weak Vulcan, he moved to sit by him.

"L-Look.." He stuttered, shaking, he hoped he didn't drop the angel, "I-It's our son...it's a-a boy.."

When the man didn't respond, when McCoy hooked to his arm, Jim sighed, slowly realizing he was crying, holding his newborn son close to his chest, "D-Don't worry..." He cried, "Y-Your momma will wake up...he'll wake up...I promise.."

-THIS IS A TRANSITION-

(Screw you dell..I figured out a way!)

McCoy sighed softly, watching his friend rocking the infant back and forth, he had forced Jim away from the resting Spock, for both their healths, both he and Jim where overtaken by the baby, the tiny life Kirk didn't know possible. The infant had no name, he didn't want to name their child without consulting Spock first...

The Vulcan moaned softly, the air being forced down to his lungs slightly choking him, the pain was subtle, yet still there, he could feel the area of operation on his belly, then, his eyes snapped open, the baby! He looked over, his monitor's beep growing faster with each scare.

Nurse Christine Chapel sighed, genially pushing the man back down, "Good morning, Mr. Spock." She smiled, "How are you feeling?"

Spock couldn't decide how he was feeling, the alien weight on his stomach was gone, the pain searing in it's place, his T'hy'la was not by his side..and his child..

"Where is my offspring?" He asked, brown eyes flickering up, Christine sighed, the First Officer hadn't changed, even after childbirth, and nearly loosing his life. The woman walked out of the room, going to the small hallway outside of the door, it closed behind her, she met eyes with the captain, the proud father of a newborn son.

Kirk looked up,, his lips parted as the infant rest in his arms, "S-Spock.." he whispered, almost feeling as if he was betraying his lover by expecting the worst, he was pushed out of the room so violently, his imagination let to run loose with the only knowledge that Spock was unresponsive, the blonde stood, making the baby stir in his arms, "I-Is he okay?" He asked, desperate...

Christine smiled softly, but kept a watchful eye on the infant, the captain thought after acting, if he was rash, he could harm the newborn, (and face the wrath of Spock..)

She walked to him, a hand on his shoulder, "Captain... Mr. Spock is awake..."

Blue eyes grew as he maneuvered away from the nurse and into the sick bay, stopping in awe when he saw his husband...

"S-Spock.." He whispered, causing the Vulcan to look up, Christine had taken the baby from Jim, worried slightly as she rocked the half-vulcan.

Spock, in his own ways, smiled, reaching forward, allowing Jim to take his hand, "Y-Your alive..."

"I would believe that to be obvious, Jim..." yet Spock's eyes where not on his husband, but the swaddled baby, "Is that.."

Jim took his son from Nurse Chapel, kissing the top of his head with the utmost affection before handing the baby off his mother, Spock's eyes lit up, his human side coming out in the beauty in his arms. "_E-E'tum_..." the man whispered in his native tongue, Jim sat beside his family on the bed, running his hands over Spock's messy hair, he liked that look, it was..human... it was beautiful.

Spock moved to sit up, slowly, he was in great pain, but he managed it, as he always managed, he let the baby rest against his chest, sighing in utter content, utter happiness, "He.." Jim breathed, "He has no name..I..I wanted you to name him," Spock looked up at his beloved, and truly smiled.

"T-Turak.." Spock whispered, he wished for the baby to have a Vulcan name, but he wished to honor his human husband as well, "Turak George..." Jim gasped softly, smiling as he softly cuddled his lover close,

"Thank you...T'hy'la..."

)THIS IS ANOTHER TRANSITION(

(Meerkats aren't scared of sh*t..)

The crew of the Enterprise had fallen madly under Turak's spell as he grew, Chekhov, once again, abandoning his duties to coo the infant in Spock's arms, the Vulcan sat at his station, Jim insisted that Turak should he with them at all times, unless they lay in bed, or on the captain's chair, or anywhere were desire took over, doing unmentionable things, the raven sighed softly as Turak slept, he was a quiet little thing, as where all Vulcan's as infants, save for Spock, his human blood making him cry upon birth, he supposed ether would be fine, he didn't want to be like his own father or people, he loved his son more than life it's self, human blood, as Jim said, be damned.

"Pavel.." Hikaru called, looking over, making the small Russian pop up,

"Da?" he asked, cocking his head, "O-Oh..." Pavel realized he was suppose to be working, but...Turak was so cute! "Sorry Hikaru..."

Hikaru nodded, it wasn't just the new parents that needed to adjust to the tiny life, though the crew members fell in love with Turak, it was a bit hard to figure him out.

Spock was a kind man around his lover and son, though they where far from perfect, they still got in, what they would call, heated arguments, the make up though...Chekhov was asked to care for Turak...

Jim lay beside his husband in bed, his arms wrapped around the man, "T'hy'la.." he whispered, their son resting only feet away in his black and blue crib, the now thin Vulcan smiled in his own way, leaning into the sweet warmth. He turned, facing the man's chest, his hands running over the blonde's chest with ease,

"Yes, my love?" the raven whispered, raising a brow, the darkness of the sleeping quarters hiding the blush on Spock's face.

The blonde pressed his lips to the other's lips, his hand resting on the man's cheek, sighing softly, "I... I love you..." He muttered, "I love Turak..."

Oh he loved his husband and son more than anything, for once, he fell in love with something more than himself. He held the man close to his chest, shaking slightly, he realized how close he was to loosing his lover... he couldn't go on if something happened to Turak or Spock.

Spock's logical brain reformed to that of a human, he sighed softly, "I love you too Jim.." he smiled, kissing him once more.

They two held each other close, their beautiful son only feet away, and quiet frankly, James T. Kirk wouldn't change a thing.


End file.
